Comments on: Tuesday Preview: Face Time

By: Paul

Paul — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:22:31 +0000

If there’s one positive that could result from this terrible accident, it’s that it might finally lead the public to recognize a hidden and pervasive danger lurking throughout our communities.

The danger I’m referring to is, of course, curbs. Yes, those mini-elevated highways made of concrete that line almost every street in this city.

First of all, they’re dirty and unsightly. I would rather be surrounded by a thousand Lamar Advertising LCD billboards than be forced to look upon a curb. Curbs are, afterall, literally a part of the gutter–and we all know what collects in gutters. No doubt that Mr. Montgomery would agree that going face-down into a gutter is not a pleasant experience. A street without curbs would be so much more aesthetic.

Second, they’re dangerous. Who among you hasn’t, at one time or another, stepped off of a curb and turned your ankle? How many have tripped while stepping up onto a curb? I mean, even if we can’t get rid of curbs citywide, we could start by eliminating them in areas where people are known to consume alcoholic beverages, such as Five Points South and Lakeview. Mr. Montgomery is not a victim of his own bacchanalian proclivities, but rather of the city’s negligent planning. Even had he manged to successfully navigate the maze of towering and plunging curbs, he still would’ve had to contend with the uneven cobblestones of Cobb Lane. Not an easy feat when one can barely stand on his own feet.

Finally, there is a consensus among scientists that curbs on emissions are needed, but that curbs are definitely man-made. Therefore, since they are man-made, we must conclude that curbs are not natural and that the construction of curbs contributes to global warming and wastes precious natural resources that could be used elsewhere. As such, curbs are superfluous and unnecessary. Everybody agrees on this point. Besides, nobody knows noxious emissions like Joel Montgomery.

In conclusion, the Birmingham City Council should pass a resolution banning curbs without delay. That way, the paths from the sidewalks to the streets will be straight–just the way the Birmingham City Council prefers.

By: LoisLane

LoisLane — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:28:02 +0000

Come on, Willard. Public officials are held to a higher standard. This is an unfortunate set of circumstances for anyone but once you put your name on a ballot, get voted in, are currently serving a term AND head up the Public Safety commission, one should expect this level of scrutiny and reporting. It’s the best type of story: It’s warranted and I’m sure it’s generating traffic and selling papers.

What I wanna know: Did he have the brass ones show up and face the music? Either way, this morning’s meeting was probably a doozy. Too bad I can’t catch it on satellite tonight. :(

By: Willard

Willard — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:45:36 +0000

“What is it with you people?”
Can’t a guy get stumbling drunk, fall flat on his face and get arrested without the media world insisting on reporting on it? I mean its not as if he was three sheets when he showed up at a City Council meeting. Then he would be a danger to himself and others, and THAT is news. I want to know more when he throws up at City Hall.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 13:23:26 +0000

Kyle, thanks for the shout-out for the OTM Dems. I heard last night that Joel Montgomery had emergency surgery yesterday, so I guess he gets an excused absence if he doesn’t show up today. Of course, if he does we want to know all about it. Wish I could be a fly on the wall. :)