Can we change Jefferson County in 2009?

New Year resolutions are funny things. We make them. We break them. A year from now we laugh at how silly we were to be so optimistic. Then we repeat the process to the same results. It’s a tradition that gives us hope that we can overcome out bad habits, even if the past says otherwise.

With a disastrous 2008 behind us, I’d like to offer a few 2009 resolutions for Jefferson County.

1. Create a county manager

This is one that a lot of eager, well-meaning political observers have been wanting for years. I’ve never been so certain that a county manager was a good idea, but I’m beginning to come around to it.

It’s easy but wrong to assume the commission is a sort of county legislative body. Think of it instead as a triumvirate, only with five members instead of three. Each commissioner acts as an executive over a smaller part of the county.

It used to be that each commissioner had absolute power over his or her portion, but after commissioners started going to jail, the county created committees of three to do the same jobs. The forces of evil quickly negated this check and balance with a practice known legally as conspiracy. For instance, instead of having one commissioner with absolute power over county finances, you had a committee instead. A few years ago, this committee consisted of Mary, Gary and Larry – Mary Buckelew, Gary White and Larry Langford. A few years later, Mary, Gary and Larry have all landed on the wrong side of a federal grand jury.

So how to fix this? The do-gooders out there have proposed a county manager. Instead of running the county themselves, the commissioners would hire someone who knows what the hell he’s doing.

I’ve been skeptical of this idea because I’ve seen some of the commission’s other hires, or as federal grand juries sometimes call them, co-defendants. I’ve always felt that the solution to bureaucratic problems is competence, not another layer of bureaucracy and certainly not some sort of Uber-Bureaucrat.

The do-gooder contingent thinks they have a solution – a professionally run national search. A search committee would produce a list of qualified candidates from which the commission would pick one.

I’m coming around to the idea for this reason. The county needs someone who pays attention to minutia. For instance, most politicians don’t know the difference between fund-based and cash-based accounting, nor is that difference something that matters to voters at the polls. However, that difference is significant and it is a major reason why the county now can’t produce an audited financial statement. If voters and the politicians they elect couldn’t tell that difference, perhaps a county manager could.

But new solutions can create new problems, and I’m afraid the do-gooder crowd is not giving those problems enough thought. Hiring a county manager alone is like replacing the steering wheel on a junkyard jalopy and expecting it to be street legal and safe to drive.

Which leads to the next resolution …

2. Quit saying Resolution 1 will fix all

If the county did hire a professional manager, I don’t understand why anyone would want the job. He or she would have to answer to five bosses and supervise department heads who are nearly impossible to fire.

The do-gooders are trying to solve the first problem. One solution has been to require three votes to hire a manager and four to five, or some variation of that.

Fine. But the first problem remains. I remember years ago a city of Birmingham department head saying to me, “It’s nearly impossible to manage someone who knows they’ll be there long after you’re gone.” She’s no longer with the city, but the people she managed are still there.

It’s ludicrous that Jefferson County department heads have civil service protection under the personnel board. For nearly three years after the SuperSewer fiasco, sewer chief Jack Swan continued to work for the county. When a federal grand jury indicted them, the county couldn’t fire him until he was convicted. Instead, he was placed on leave, and his assistant, who was also indicted, ran the department. If the Alabama Legislature, which has to pass the county manager law, doesn’t fix this underlying problem, they’re just painting over the mold in the walls.

3. Elect a commission president at-large

An alternative to the county manager idea has been to elect a county executive, instead. This wouldn’t solve the management problems, but it would solve a major political problem.

In Jefferson County, we’ve been complaining about for years about Balkanization – the splintering and multiplying of local governments. It’s my job to keep up with such things, but I lost track of how many municipalities we have. I quit counting when it got close to 40.

Rep. Artur Davis makes a compelling case for an at-large commission president. As it is, there is no local official who has to have everyone’s support. There is no politician who has to make the same pitch to voters in Pratt City as in Mountain Brook. Electing the commission president at-large would solve that problem, he argues.

Business and political leaders and bemoaned the fact that there is no regional or county leader, while they have completely ignored the reason why – the position does not exist.

So create one, or quit whining about our county being a headless chicken.

When it comes to the at-large commission president, all those courageous do-gooders who want to fix things start turning sheepish and begin making excuses. But if they stop short, then they’ve not fixed the whole problem.

The 2009 Alabama legislative session begins next month. I’m hopeful, but I can’t shake the feeling we’ll be in the same position next year.

War on Dumb is a column about political culture. Write to kyle@bhamweekly.com