Pull up those britches: The Selma City Council voted 5-2 to ban the wearing of pants that sag lower
than three inches below the hip. While Selma is carefully walking the
line between nanny state and fashion police, they say the new ordinance
is meant to make older people feel more comfortable telling rambunctious
youths to pull up their trousers. But, ladies and gentlemen, I propose
an alternative: Embrace the sag. Hear me out. The older
generation, if they truly want to end the fad, should send an ultimatum
to the younger generation. We won’t pull up our pants until you do. Loosen those belts, dad and grandpa. We’ll
set records for fastest killing of a fashion trend the moment kids see
gramps with his tighty-whiteys hanging out of his pants.
Give us raises: UAB recently performed a survey of its employees to evaluate working conditions, and the results are in—UAB’s a great place to work but not a great place to get paid. While the majority of faculty and staff said their work is interesting, their training is good, and their equipment is in good condition, only 41 percent said they were paid fairly, according to a UAB news release. A full 25 percent wrote comments requesting salary increases. Women and minority employees responded even more negatively about their pay. According to Alesia Jones, head of UAB Human Resources, her department “will work with UAB administration to further explore the issues of compensation and career advancement.” Employees, however, don’t share her sunny outlook. Only 23 percent of responders, the most negative response of all, thought the survey would have any effect.
Eureka, I’ve found it! Despite economic troubles, the oil spill and rampant political partisanship, 2010 was a great year, at least in one way. It’s a record year for patents in Alabama. The year isn’t even over, and the number stands at 618 patents, 23 more than our next highest year, 595 in 2002, according to Stan Diel of The Birmingham News. Most of Alabama’s patents come from corporations and big research institutions, but it’s still possible for the little guy to get a patent in edgewise. Scot Gentle won a patent for his Tailtrick brand deer decoy, a traditional hunting decoy with a motor-operated tail that shakes back and forth to attract bucks. While the patent itself isn’t attracting many bucks for Gentle thus far, he’s proud of the fruits of his labor.